Can I just tell you how fast time is flying right now?  FAST!  And from what I hear, it just gets keeps on going....which is great!  I feel like each stage of Jack's development, I've loved, and I have no doubt I'll love what is to come.  But I'll MISS this cuddly toddler. 

I'll miss how he's literally jumping from excitement when I walk in his room when he wakes up.  I'll miss him sitting on my lap, drinking his milk, watching Blue's Clues every morning.  I'll miss watching him run around the backyard, doing nothing but just plain running.  I'll miss him walking through the house yelling "MAMA! MAMA! MAMA!" only to find me and say, "Hi!" before he runs back to play.  I'll miss him crawling up into my lap to read Goodnight Moon just one more time before a nap or bedtime.  I'll miss him walking around and pausing to dance for a few seconds before he continues on his merry way.  I'll miss our intimate times on the changing table...sounds strange, but any parent knows how valuable those changing table times are!  It's just you and your baby, face to face, such a precious time...and I'll miss that.

One day it will take me 30 minutes to roll him out of bed.  One day we won't be singing "Mail Time!" together at 7:30am.  One day it will take more to entertain him than a beach ball in the backyard.  One day he won't be as concerned as to my whereabouts.  One day he won't want me to read to him.  One day I won't change his diaper 5 times a day....hey, wait a maybe I won't miss ALL of those things.  :)

My little boy is growing up.  And it's wonderful!  But sad.  I'm so happy for him!  But I'm scared. 

The Lord has reminded me over and over again that my world is not about me.  I have no control.  He's got it all taken care of.  How he's done that is not up to me!  Jack growing up means me having less control, and that's hard!  It's not as if I've ever had that control, but sometimes I'm lulled into the feeling that I've got it all taken care of....and then reality hits.  And I start over, learning how to let go and trust.  The cycle of my life, exhibited in the raising of my son.  Thank you, Lord.


the simple things: said...

molly--this is so well said. thank you for sharing your feelings (and what i have never been able to put words to) so eloquently.