A friend of mine who's due at the end of September posted on facebook that she's had more sleepless nights than full nights of sleep and her consolation is that she can take the time to pray for her baby before those sleepless nights become full of feedings and things. I have my sleepless nights, for sure. For some reason, if I happen to wake up between 4 and 5, I can NOT get back to sleep until 7. It's very strange. I know it's just the Lord preparing me to not trust in my sleep to make it through the day.

I can't help but wonder if I'm equipped to be a mom. I have a great mom, great role model, wonderful friend. But how am I supposed to know what to do with little Jack! No matter how many books or videos we've watched, the unknown is so scary. What if the soothing 5 S's don't make Jack the happiest baby on the block? What if breastfeeding is really hard for us? What if he's sick and I don't know it? What if he never sleeps through the night? What if I never sleep through the night? It seems like with babies, the things you learn about and people tell you are the hard things, the things that will inevitably be the "bad" parts of having a baby.

I was reading in a pregnancy devotional this morning and it reminded me that the Lord equips us for the things He's called us to do. I am a firm believer that the Lord doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called. And I know that the Lord has called us to be loving, Godly parents. That has been our strongest desire, is to raise Jack in a God fearing home, with Christ loving parents and a church community to support and love us. Why would I doubt that He would take care?

2 Timothy 3:16-17 says that "All scripture is God breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the man of God will be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

To be equipped, I need to be in the Word, simple as that. Yes, Jack will cry and I won't know what to do and I know there will be days when I'll go to bed (for however long that is!) wondering if I did all I could to be a good mom that day. But my peace has to come from the Lord, not in how I do as a mom. I always struggle with wanting to do my best and feeling like I didn't do enough...the last few years, the Lord has been working hard on that. I know that I am enough, enough for Him because he equips me with just enough for the day at hand.

Now, if I could just remember this each and every day!


Anonymous said...

Hi Molly! This is Emilie Parrish.

I just wanted to let you know that that verse from 2 Timothy is one of my favorites! I'm so glad you found comfort in it!

Good Luck!

Kristi said...

Great post Molly! You will be a wonderful mom! I hope you don't have to wait too much longer!