Motherhood Fail

 A few days out of each week Jeff gets to come home on his dinner break, which is just great.  Makes the day go by faster for him...and it a great break for me!  I've been struggling to figure out how to actually cook dinner with a curious 1 year old walker in my house!  You can't leave him alone...he'll get into something.  He won't stay put...he is not a fan of the exersaucer anymore.  And the only things that entertain him for longer than 30 seconds are the naughty things!  Like playing in Vincent's water bowl or sticking tiny fingers into plugs. 

Sometimes I whip up a casserole while Jack's taking his afternoon nap so I can just pop it in the oven before Jeff gets home.  But most days seem to contribute to us quickly becoming connoisseurs on Bertolli bag meals.  Since it was so nice outside yesterday, I decided I'd grill!  Jeff just taught me how to start the grill on Sunday, so with my new found knowledge, I thought it would be perfect.  Jack an play and explore outside and I can make dinner.  Grilled chicken, grilled veggies, and grilled buttered hot dog buns (we have about a million left over from the party on Saturday so we've had hot-dog-bun-french-bread for dinner a lot this week). 

Yesterday was a beautiful day.  Partly cloudy, high in the upper 80's, less humid that it has been was so nice.  And lately Jack has been loving to play outside!  He has this dinky little wheelbarrow that he loves to push around.  It's so dinky that when it gets crooked or tumps over and he can't push it anymore, he just picks the whole thing up and carries it around.  Dinky but he loves it! 

So we were outside, I was grilling away, Jack was walking around with his wheelbarrow...things were going well!  I turn around to check on the chicken and then back to check on Jack and I don't see him.  Where could he be?  I did see him eyeing those concrete steps up to the house a while I start walking over to the steps just in time to see him do a no handed cartwheel down the bottom 2 steps.  EEK!  I ran over to him and scooped him up as he wailed away.  And why wouldn't he!  It was not a pretty fall. 

His fall resulted in a tear stained little face and a goose egg on the side of his head, and a huge heaping pile of mommy guilt on me.  I know, I know, kids fall, they get bumps and bruises, but it's not fun to watch as a mom!  How could I not think, "Why weren't you watching him?  What were you thinking?  Didn't you see him eyeing those steps earlier?"  Yes, I know I can't watch him constantly.  And him falling is him learning.  There wasn't anything bloody or broken.  He went to bed with out any trouble, slept straight through the night, and woke up this morning not seeming to care about his  bump.  

I'm still amazed at how much I have to learn as a mom.  Not learning to be more careful with him (although that couldn't hurt) but learning to let go, that I'm here to care for God's child that He's blessed me with.  And knowing that God has him, safe and sound, right where He wants him to be.  Regardless of what can/will happen, we're going to be ok. 

All that to say....we went to Babies R Us this morning and got this.